I'm pretty new to this, but since I just went through most of the questions you have, I can share what I learned/decided on.
HenryF212 said:
1 The tank is missing a lid and a Light
*What websites have any of you used in the past that you would recommend??
*LED or Florescent?
*Any websites/people on the forum for custom lids?
For a lid, I was happy with a basic MarineLand glass top. Not overly expensive and it keeps the fish from jumping out.
LED vs Florescent is up to you. Look through the forums in the lighting category for photos (though remember photos don't always accurately portray lighting) and go to your local fish store and ask if they'll show you what different bulbs look like on one of their tanks(much better). I personally didn't like the 'spotlight' effect from the LEDs, or the upfront cost (LEDs are just -NOT- that expensive! I don't care if you dip them in gold!), but I'll acknowledge that in the long run (if you plan to keep the setup for years), you'll save in electricity cost and in not needing to replace bulbs. I went with a T5 HO, 2 bulb setup from Catalina Aquatics online. They build-to-order and if you'd like blue LED "moonlights" they'll add those for much cheaper than any of the prefab units I've seen elsewhere. Quite reasonable cost, long warranty on the ballast.
You'll want to decide on your substrate/decorations and get an idea what fish you'll be keeping to determine which bulbs to go with. 4200K and you'll get a dingy yellow on light colored substrate/decorations. 18,000K and you're looking at cold blue tint to the light, with many in between.
HenryF212 said:
2 I would like this tank to look as close to their natural habitat?
*What substrate is most appropriate?
*Pros n Cons of Black Cichlid sand?
*What type of rock is most natural?
*Drift wood??
* Plants(fake) or Rocks or Both?
* What websites are cheapest to find this stuff?
I'm not sure their natural habitat has much black sand in it! Just saying, but don't let that stop you! I don't think they care what color the sand is.
To decorate your tank on the cheap, and keep it natural, go to a landscaping yard and look for river stone, the 3-6" chunks of it, somewhat smooth. I walked in to one place and said I only needed a 5gallon bucket or two, was told they generally sold by the ton, then given the offer of $5/bucket. I think it came out to $10 for 145lbs of some nice colorful interesting rocks. Compare that to the $1.50-4.99/lb some aquarium places around here want for 'decorative' rocks.
People here seem to like the pool filter sand. It looks good, it's cheap. It's natural and readily available. I already had some course crushed coral from the tank I was upgrading so went a slightly different route, adding to that finer crushed coral and aragonite sand, hoping to get a natural look with different sized pieces mixed. I like it, others may not. I'm not sure where in NJ you are, but where I am, I need to buffer the pH up to keep the fish happy. Crushed coral and aragonite sand both do a good job of this. Some here would disagree with its ability to do such, but in my short experience, it's done the job so far.
One of the biggest cons of that cichlid sand is finding it. Good luck! I called all over the state, and while many of the LFS said they could order it for me, none hand it on hand, and I had planned to upgrade to the larger tank in a short time.
Personally, I love the look of sand in an aquarium, but I wanted a light colored substrate since my background was black and my rocks had some color to them. Light colored sand, from what I've seen, is a dirt/algae/etc magnet. It's work to keep pristine. My tank is pretty low maintenance and I'd like to keep it that way.
Doing everything black is just... too dark. As far as design is concerned, it doesn't allow each aspect of the tank to be showcased, IMHO. I also read a bit about sand causing mayhem with impellers on filters, having to turn off your pumps/filters while working in the tank if you might kick it up into the water. I didn't want to have to deal with that.
Again with the pH, if you use drift wood, you might see your pH start to drop. I'm on the fence about trying to add a long piece to my tank, though I probably won't. I also don't want to worry about having to boil such a large piece, or have it staining my water--both things that can otherwise be taken care of, but... meh.
For plants and other decorations, if you want to make it look like your fish's natural settings, it really depends on the fish. Mine live in the rocks, with very little plant life, so its pretty sparse. Live plants require specific types of light in order to grow, and will help keep your nitrate in check so long as they remain healthy. Fake plants don't have these requirements, are cheap, and some of the good ones look real enough to trick your eyes.
For websites, check out the reviews section here. It's not all inclusive, but it'll give you a place to start. Don't discount local shops though. A lot of the time, shipping charges will make the LFS's prices more reasonable in comparison. And don't be scared to think outside of the box. Go to Home Depot/Lowes/etc, landcaping yards, pool supply places. See if you can get the same type of stuff from them. Since to them, most of the items they have in common with this hobby aren't considered 'specialty' items, they tend to be much cheaper.
Lastly, about decorating your tank--another cheap thing you can do to really up the 'wow' factor is to paint the (outside) back of the tank. I had my doubts, but it couldn't have been easier. Just takes some patience while waiting for the paint to try. I went with plain old flat black latex paint and love the look. It'll make the colorful fish stand out that much more.
I'm hopefully stocking this weekend, and the new light comes in next week, but there's my start.
HenryF212 said:
Remember I want all opinions on your Ideal setup... I need some Ideas and I would also like to find it the least expensive way.
Ideal and least expensive. I don't think those two concepts generally go together! A lot of people here and otherwise told me ideal it really up to me, and even though I went with some of the cheaper options in my setup, it was not the 'least' expensive route I could have taken. These fish are pretty flexible about different lighting, substrate, and decorations if you see to their basic needs. While I personally tried to go more for their natural habitat, that doesn't mean a different setup would be wrong, so long as it met their needs. Really depends on the individual fish have, and as I'm still new to this, I can't really speak about the ones you've listed. Mine are rock dwellers, so I gave them rocks! ...I really though 140+ lbs of rock would have made higher piles though.